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Assault on America, Day 316: ‘Little Mike’ Bloomberg is no white knight for 2020 Democrats

Little Michael Bloomberg
Imagine, if you will…

The House chamber falls silent as President Michael Bloomberg enters the room to deliver his first address to a joint session of Congress in February, 2021. At that moment, a month after his inauguration, a realization hits those in attendance: the State of the Union is indeed confused, as no one present -- either in person or in the television viewing audience -- remembers favoring Bloomberg during the year-long-plus party nominating process.

As the 79 year-old new president (Bloomberg was born on Valentine’s Day, 1942, so assuming his joint address wouldn’t take place until late February after his birthday, he’ll have celebrated another year on earth) meekly strides to the podium, he could all-but sense the seething animosity from both sides of the room. Instead of being greeted with outstretched hands, slaps on the back, contrived grins and well-wishes there was only cold stares and frowns from Republicans and Democrats alike. For anyone who thought American politics had reached bottom long ago, they experienced a new bout of depression as the Bloomberg era began.

Republicans smarted from an astonishing self-inflicted (by failing to enthusiastically support and defend Donald Trump) election loss and contemplated embarking on another establishment-led “autopsy” to assess how they might unwisely move further to the political center to buy votes and a feeling of viability again. Democrats barely hid their contempt for Bloomberg too, not fully accepting him as one of their own despite his victory (that is, after he trashed Biden, Bernie and Liz). Oh, how Democrats wished it’d been a true party honk on the event program instead of a rich guy who once claimed to be a Republican!

Bloomberg spoke slowly and deliberately but the chamber’s mood didn’t improve. No standing ovations (or flagrant sitting protests), no demands for an encore. Nothing. The atmosphere is akin to the stillness of a morgue. All the air was sucked out of Washington on election night. No one is happy anymore. Where’s Trump and the good ‘ol days? Even the Democrats remembered the former president fondly in one respect -- he gave them something to hate.

--Is this America’s future, or is Bloomberg’s potential candidacy a charade? Even Democrats are skeptical that the former New York City Mayor is a workable candidate. Niall Stanage reported at The Hill over the weekend, “Michael Bloomberg’s decision to move toward a presidential bid is frustrating many Democrats, who are adamant there is no appetite for a candidacy from the billionaire former New York City mayor.

“But the situation is complicated because even those who are critical of Bloomberg acknowledge that his flirtation with a 2020 bid is emblematic of a broader concern.

“The worry among centrist Democrats is that the leading moderate in the race, former Vice President Joe Biden, is flawed and faltering, while the two leading progressive alternatives — Sens. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) and Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) — could be too radical to win a general election.”

Well, the rank-and-file Democrats’ worries over the bugaboos of their top-tier are entirely justified. We should only take offense at the media’s characterization of Biden -- or Bloomberg -- as “moderates,” because neither comes close to fitting the description. In order to embody the term, one must believe in, well, moderation. Moderation is defined as, “the avoidance of excess or extremes, especially in one's behavior or political opinions,” which doesn’t sound anything like either Grampa Joe or gun-grabbing Mike (note: President Trump called him “Little Mike” but I thought it sounded too much like “Little Marco,” so I coined a new name on my own. Bloomberg stands a towering 5’8” tall, so most men are likely looking down on the guy).

To the media, “moderation” is any Democrat politician who’s ever expressed a teeny bit of apprehension about trying to transform America into a socialist utopia. A “moderate” Republican is a GOPer who regularly sides with Democrats (which the media sees as a redeeming positive thing). Biden’s paid lip-service to some so-called “moderate” policies in the past, so despite his unassailable liberal record throughout his career, the label stuck in the minds of the gullible and uninformed. It also doesn’t matter to the factually blinded that Biden’s renounced pretty much every semi-centrist position he ever once entertained, such as opposing federal funding for abortions. Now he’s a dedicated leftist like all the rest of ‘em! A “moderate” no longer!

To be fair, Bloomberg ain’t no “moderate” neither. He’s a limousine liberal who’s dwelled and slithered among the bleeding-heart big government elites his whole life, making a grand fortune (conservatively valued at $53 billion, which dwarfs Trump’s declining standing due to his political career) and living his political nanny-state dreams by banning large sugary sodas in New York City. Unlike Trump’s fondness for the common man and championing of the working class, Bloomberg’s preferred relaxing space is akin to sitting atop a tall anthill grasping a magnifying glass and condescendingly glancing at the poor huddled masses of insects who must scrape the pavement for their next meals.

The ants are human beings. Just saying.

It takes one heck of an ego for Bloomberg to surmise he scan swoop into the Democrat race after the first caucuses and primaries next year and get people to choose him beginning on Super Tuesday. Apparently, Bloomberg adviser Howard Wolfson told a Washington Post reporter that the part-time pol would not contest Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Nevada. Sure, Mike, just keep imagining you’ll give everyone an enormous head start and then land your plane right in the middle of things and take over.

This is a classic “white knight” scenario, which happens every four years when the party out of power goes through a period of worry that their top-job contenders aren’t quite up to speed -- or that they’re deficient in some indispensable way. American voters get bored easily, and after staring at the likes of “Pocahontas”, “The Bern” and stumbling, bumbling verbally handicapped Joe, some Democrats are hankering for an infusion of new blood.

Only Bloomberg hardly registers high in the party “savior” category. He’s got a TV and internet media network named after him but he isn’t well understood other than perhaps for name recognition anywhere else. The fact he was Mayor of New York City for three terms doesn’t mean squat to people in the hinterlands (or in the slums), and if the Democrats’ top-tier already has relatability issues with the commoners, Bloomberg’s will only be that much worse. Can you imagine the nearly octogenarian diminutive financier giving speeches to a skeptical Millennial-filled audience? What’s he going to say, that he cares more about people than anyone else?

What about a unique selling point, Mike? Fellow billionaire Democrat outsider Tom Steyer’s at least known for his all-in for leftist greenie projects that might attract a slice of the ultra-“out there” party primary electorate. What platform would Bloomberg embrace? That he’s a dedicated “woke” liberal but his fellow candidates go too far with their socialist welfare schemes? Would anyone be inclined to listen to Bloomberg talk about healthcare and his experiences in New York and as leader of a gigantic company?

Can Bloomberg rightly check any of the other mandatory boxes for contemporary Democrat candidates? Can he act frightened enough of “climate change” and world overpopulation to maintain credibility with the alarmist crowd? Can “Little Mike” head to states with significant African-American Democrat populations and elbow out slavery reparations pushers like Warren, Cory Booker and Kamala Harris? Are his “pro choice” views in line with the radical “women’s health” nuts who demand and receive allegiance for abortion on demand up to the moment of birth? What about his vast wealth? Democrat rivals are already attacking him and fundraising off of his big bucks.

What about the Democrats’ obsession with #MeToo and bringing down any man who’s ever looked funny at a woman during his lifetime (excepting legends like Biden, Teddy Kennedy and Bill Clinton, of course). It’s no secret Bloomberg’s been publicly accused of being an unrepentant sexist. Wait until the media sees him as a threat to Biden and throws him to the politically correct judgmental crowd. It’ll get ugly.

Besides, didn’t Democrats already roundly reject one Democrat New York City mayor (Bill de Blasio) in this year’s race? And then there’s “Mayor Pete” Buttigieg, who won’t relinquish the “Mayor” description willingly to an out-of-touch east coast ruling class elitist and renowned misogynist. Heck, as a gay man, Buttigieg’s claimed the sensitive guy mantle in the field -- would Democrats consider switching to Bloomberg over a “cool” LGBTQ member forty years his junior?

It doesn’t take great leaps of logic to envision Democrats rejecting Bloomberg wholesale. But we shouldn’t be too hard on “Little Mike,” lest he decide a run isn’t worth his trouble. Kurt Schlichter wrote at Townhall, “Bloomberg is the kind of pursed-lipped, uptight scold the Normals are saluting with a single digit. You get the distinct impression that he spends a lot of his time being very, very upset that we are choosing to live our lives without his approval, and that it grates on him.

“Electing him president would be like electing your kindergarten teacher POTUS, if your kindergarten teacher was tiny, 77, and jetted away for every weekend to Bermuda in her Gulfstream after lecturing you on how you can’t have chocolate because of global warming.

“This futile fiasco is not driven by anything but the malignant midget’s vanity, and not a little jealousy that Donald Trump, the unpolished Al Cervik, is dominating the Bushwood Country Club of American politics while Little Michael Smails is looking like a buffoon trying on awful hats in its pro shop.”

Schlichter’s Caddyshack reference describes it perfectly. American voters, almost all of which are not among the top ten wealthiest people on the planet, prefer the down-to-earth personality of Donald Trump to the stuffy “I’m better than you” aura of snobs like Michael Bloomberg. There’s simply too far for Bloomberg to go to have people like him in big enough numbers to win a party nomination.

As has been said many times about him, Trump is extremely easy to get along with one-to-one. He plays golf with celebrities and legends. He prefers hanging out with the help rather than the decision-makers. And he’s uncommonly comfortable with the working man. Michael Bloomberg? Pfft.

The media is excited about the prospect of a Michael Bloomberg “white knight” presidential candidacy, but no one else -- including Democrats -- is. The former NYC mayor is too old, too rich and too out-of-touch to be taken seriously in the big picture. If Bloomberg tries it, it’ll only result in one more reputation ruined by national politics.

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