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Assault on America, Day 596: Joe ‘n Kamala, Day 3: Mean Girls Night at the DNC w/Obama cameo

Kamala Harris DNC speech
“Mean Girls Night” at the DNC featured a who’s who of feminist rage

“I’m so happy! That you love me!” -- the super group Chicago, in “Make Me Smile”, 1970

One of the strangest aspects of American politics has to be how power transforms seemingly set-in-stone lifelong personalities within the span of a few days -- or even a few minutes. Like a superhero changing outfits, a movie monster suddenly emerging from the deep or a zombie bursting from a grave, Grampa Joe Biden’s selection of California Democrat Senator Kamala Harris as his potential VP changed the normally prosecutorial, testy, nasty, confrontational, patronage slurping harpy into the happiest darn gal in the history of this nation!

If Disneyland calls itself the “Happiest Place on Earth,” then Harris, when she’s positioned next to her new chum Biden, is in her own personal Disneyland! And if you could bottle cheer and good tidings, then Kamala just brewed up a fifth of happiness! It’s almost like the first fifty-five years of her life were a mirage and there was this dormant giddy schoolgirl hidden inside that scowling outer shell just waiting to break out! To Harris, not even qualifying for the senior menu (because of her age) at Denny’s appears as fulfilling as being Joe Biden’s running mate!

Harris’s appearance capped off the third night of what’s seems like an interminable 2020 Democrat National Convention, the quadrennial nominating event that, once upon a time, was viewed as essential viewing in American politics. This year’s edition, with its eye-rolling boring “infomercial” quality and telethon-type pandering for votes and donations sheds doubt on the future of such forums regardless of whether there’s a public health emergency the next time around. Hopefully next week’s Republican version will restore hope among politics followers that we haven’t seen the last of good partisan theater.

The first two two-hour segments (on Monday and Tuesday) were devoted to featuring videos from voters “out there” in America, showcasing the Democrats’ (limited) star power and, of course, telling lots of sob stories about how awful President Donald Trump has been for the country. If Democrats are correct, Trump has stolen the “soul” of the nation and hidden it somewhere inside Trump Tower or in one of his ritzy golf clubs, safe from the prying eyes of decent society. How many times have we heard this week that the president refuses to say the words “Black Lives Matter”?

Whereas the earlier part of the week shed light on the Democrats’ three-pronged justifications for votes this year (namely, COVID-19, Trump’s “assault” on the post office and, of course, his being a racist), Wednesday’s program could very well have been coined “Mean Girls night”. None other than Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Elizabeth Warren and Harris were allotted speaking slots. Add in former President Barack Obama’s guilt-inspiring mug to the mix and there was a veritable feminist Trump-roast for all to witness!

The opening moments of Day 3’s infomercial introduced a couple new issues to the Democrats’ electoral push, “gun violence” and, of course, “climate change.” It was refreshing to hear about something other than COVID-19, but there were barbs about the pandemic included in the new topics as well. Mixed in with the other fluff were a couple extremely odd musical performances as well. The green haired Billie Eilish looked like she was under the influence as she mumbled about her future. The other was by Prince…something, singing “Stand By Me” in front of graffiti murals. Odd. But this is the Democrat party for you.

Former Rep. Gabby Giffords did give a very passionate and heartfelt speech about gun control. The Arizona congresswoman was shot point blank by a nutcase years ago… so she’s at least worth listening to, even if we disagree with everything she said. A “Mean Girl” she is not. But there were plenty more to come.

Hillary Clinton was just a little too “Mean” for her own good. Echoes of 2016.

Poor Hillary Clinton. Here she was, four years removed from what should’ve been the biggest night of her life and instead was relegated to delivering a canned speech touting Joe Biden and Kamala Harris (who?) to seek revenge on the hated Trump when she should’ve been basking in the ambiance of thousands of rabid followers while accepting her re-nomination for president. Oh, fate can be so cruel!

When Hill ‘n Bill came to DC after the ’92 election, Kamala Harris was still just a lowly local prosecutor in the Bay Area and mentally preparing herself for her big career move at the feet of the powerful Willie Brown (who appointed her to the state Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board and later to the California Medical Assistance Commission in ’94). What a way to work your way up! Now Kamala is figuratively the one on top, isn’t she?

What struck me most about watching Clinton breathe out what could be her final breaths of relevance was how pathetic she’s become in the years since her ultimate defeat. Listening to her bash Trump’s character for the umpteenth time, one wonders, doesn’t she have something better to do? What’s prevented her from healing and moving on all this time? Shouldn’t her close association with Big Bubba Bill and his persistent scandals have taught her anything? Sheesh, the guy exudes vulnerability even when his latest sex escapade is earning headlines along with the other Democrats at their big to-do.

But not Hillary. She’s still bitter and angry, a haggish cartoonish caricature of a legendary political figure. The “glass ceiling” proved shatterproof for a dredge like Hillary. The only question now is whether her own party will invite her back to speak at their 2024 convention. Why would they? She’s a pathetic embarrassment.

Repeat after me, Hillary. “I’m sorry for blowing the 2016 election and for covering for Bill all those years. Will you forgive me?”

Nancy Pelosi is the dean of the Democrat “Mean Girls,” and she’s earned it

Like with “Chucky” Schumer the night before, Nancy Pelosi’s brief appearance was inserted into the line-up because it would’ve looked weird for the identity politics obsessed Democrats if she weren’t included in the who’s who of liberal politics. Pelosi talked a bit about the party’s legislative priorities but mostly just acted ticked off that everything the do-gooders sought to achieve was blocked by Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump.

Who knows if she’s really a big fan of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. It doesn’t matter. If the presidential ticket does well, chances are the hag from San Fran will be Speaker for another congressional term. Let the rest of the world eat ice cream!

“Pocahontas” Warren would’ve been the first 1/1024th Cherokee president!

As the program moved to Elizabeth Warren in the second hour, many people probably felt sorry for her. It was obvious to many close observers that Biden wanted to choose “Pocahontas” to be his running mate, but she is simply too white for the honor in the ultra-contentious identity-politics environment of 2020. Not even decades of pretending to be a Native American would suffice for Democrats this year, they demanded the authenticity that goes along with being the daughter of Indian (eastern) and former slaveholding Jamaican non-citizen immigrants. So, Kamala Harris got the nod instead.

On Wednesday night Warren called President Trump a failure and talked a lot about the need for universal government-provided childcare. What, another huge federal entitlement? These people are shameless.

“Pocahontas” did her best to exude enthusiasm for the Biden-Harris ticket but you couldn’t help but sense she was acting a bit. True, Warren hates Trump with an authentic passion, but her enormous ego shines most brightly when she’s touting some falsehood or gross exaggeration in her own background. Talking about other people just isn’t her forte.

Obama doesn’t qualify as a “Mean Girl” but he played one according to the theme

As perhaps the Democrat party’s most beloved living figure, it was only natural to invite Barack Obama to fill a prominent timeslot in this year’s program. The longtime community organizer with the featherlight resume emerged at just the right time in political history. Coming off the lukewarm George W. Bush administration and pitted against the awful Hillary Clinton in the ’08 Democrat primaries and then the cantankerous and unlikable John McCain in the general election, the big O was a shoe-in to win.

Now he’s spending his days enjoying the vast wealth he’s accumulated due to his years in office, living in multi-million dollar houses in an affluent Washington DC neighborhood and on Martha’s Vineyard. If you listen close enough, you’d probably hear him say “We’re livin’ the dream, honey” to Michelle every morning. “Now let’s help Joe get elected so Trump doesn’t destroy the last few shreds of my presidential legacy.”

On Wednesday night Obama got in typical licks against his successor, uncharacteristically and non-traditionally (for a former president) naming names and clearly suggesting that the current Oval Office occupant is the second coming of political Satan. The big O said Trump has never taken the office seriously. What a crock.

And his ‘ol pal Joe is gonna further the big O’s quest to halt the rise of the oceans and bring racial healing to the United States! How to do it after you’ve basically branded half the country as backwards “deplorables” rednecks clinging to guns and religion… who the heck knows! But it doesn’t matter!

Obama’s was a very dark and desperate-sounding plea for his voters to “rise up” and come out to vote for Biden in November. The man who was billed as a great healer of racial wounds in the country essentially encouraged more identity-based anger and hatred. Barack reminded everyone on Wednesday night why Donald Trump was elected. Similar to Hillary Clinton, he hasn’t learned a thing in the days and months since their defeat. He’s basically the same as wife Michelle (another Mean Girl) without the ability to soften his tone.

Joe Biden for president? We’re still hashing over and fighting to define Obama’s two terms. Obama sought to transform the country -- and he succeeded.

Kamala Harris ran as a “Mean Girl” and her “nice” persona is obviously phony

Though it’s evident to everyone that Harris is really trying hard to come across as likable and approachable for the “average” person, there are some things about her that prevent a complete reclamation. The little former California Attorney General stands “only” five-foot-two, for instance, something she can’t exactly help yet tries to make up for her slight stature by adding an extra layer of ferocity that a large man could avoid just by stretching out.

Fellow Democrat presidential candidate Cory Booker, for example, is a former college football player who boasts 6’3” of height. He’s imposing just by looking at him, and perhaps for that reason seems very comfortable goofing around and making self-deprecating jokes as he did during the primary debates. On the contrary, Kamala Harris’s chip is apparent from a distance. Take a look at her grimaces and smirks when she’s not on camera. Maybe she resents always having to look up to make eye contact. Or it could just be an inferiority complex of epic proportions.

Whatever the reason, try as she may, Harris is a fish-out-of-water in the political world. And it’s not just a female thing, either. Michelle Obama is an inch short of six feet and yet is hailed (mostly by the media) as everyone’s favorite aunt or big sister. Lady “O” couldn’t do something wrong if she tried in the eyes of journalists, as was plain the other night when she wrapped up Day One of the Democrats’ hideous virtual convention.

Does the height-equals-respect thing really hold water? Hillary Clinton is 5’5” but looks diminutive next to Big Bubba Bill who is 6’2”. Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren is 5’8”, which allowed her to see eye-to-eye with “Little Mike” Bloomberg (also 5’8”). No one ever suggested the Massachusetts senator or 2016 Democrat nominee needed to step-up her personal nastiness in order to appear more substantial.

Then there’s Nancy Pelosi who is 5’5” and looks larger with those heels she always wears. Add the puffy hairdo on top of it and most folks would probably consider her formidable even if she is 80-years-old and on the verge of a witch fit at any given moment. Not exactly in the bar fight sense, but certainly in negotiations when sitting across from her. The Speaker’s own daughter once said of her, “She'll cut your head off, and you won't even know you're bleeding.” Ouch.

But not Kamala. At least in the past, she always feigned toughness seeking to fit in. And when she doesn’t win there’s always an excuse waiting to explain away her lack of gravitas. Harris withdrew from the presidential race two months before the Iowa caucuses because her poll numbers were in the dumps with no signs of being revived. She blamed it on lackluster fundraising and an inability to pay her staff. What a copout.

Now, however, Harris is the Democrat nominee for vice president. She was chosen because of her gender and what she looks like. It’s a scary proposition to anticipate what she’d do if given power.

With Joe Biden set to speak on Thursday night, Democrats will finish up the first of its kind virtual convention. As expected, the first three days were one continuous Trump-savaging grunge fest. Day Three -- forever to be known as “Mean Girls” night -- was much of the same. Which leaves viewers with just one question: Where the heck is Hunter Biden?

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