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Assault on America, Day 344: Pelosi choked; the Schiff-show should’ve never been hatched

Nancy and Nadler
This vision is not real, but probably not off by much…

--Not all that long ago in a musty smelling swampy Washington DC chamber not that far away…

Speaker Nancy Pelosi slumped down in her chair in the Speaker’s Office in the U.S. Capitol Building, shoes off under the desk, contentedly wiggling her toes like a schoolgirl on Christmas break while enjoying a couple minutes of solitude before going to face the gluttonous, never satisfied news media one more time regarding her party’s impeachment effort.

Nervously squeezing and re-squeezing a stress ball that her doctor recommended for times of intense anxiety, the two-time Speaker wondered aloud to the empty room, “How did I ever let it get to this point?” Pelosi harkened back to eight months ago with fond memories, which brought a brief grin to her wrinkled and heavily made-up brow. Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller’s long-anticipated report was released in April, she reflected, and it said just enough nasty things about that awful Donald Trump to make it valuable in a public relations sense, while generously relieving her of the necessity to pursue the ultimate constitutional penalty against the president for “high crimes and misdemeanors.”

Sure, the loudest squawkers in her caucus still pushed to move forward with impeachment anyway, but San Fran Nan held them at bay with extended arms and opened palms while patiently explaining, “I’d love to take down Trump but Mueller didn’t find anything nearly incriminating enough. If we go this route now, we’ll lose our majority and end up in a world of… well, you know.”

Nancy recognized public support was essential at moments like these and Trump’s “deplorables” wouldn’t give a hoot about potential obstruction of justice without an underlying crime to finally assure them that their president was a racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic unaccountable scofflaw with a wild orange hairdo who deserved an unheralded and disgraced exit draped in chains and beaten from the White House by a ceremonial fife and drum corps.

Then Ukraine came. Huh? Weren’t they part of the Soviet Union? What about Russia?

The images of Adam Schiff and Jerrold Nadler suddenly crossed her mind, wiping the temporary smile off her lips. “Those idiots,” Pelosi muttered to the stillness around her, cringing once again and cursing herself for letting the crazies persuade her to abandon her better judgment.

‘We could’ve held off from impeachment until next year’s election and no one would’ve said a damn thing. Now we’re stuck with the senate trial, Mitch McConnell, the timetable and the bloody mess. Our presidential candidates have been placed in a position where they have to defend hapless Joe Biden, our members have to hit the campaign trail next summer and fall to try and pacify a very angry public out for scalps and answers to questions they shouldn’t dare ask… and for what?’

Pelosi glanced down at the two formal articles of impeachment Nadler’s Judiciary Committee had settled upon, figuring they would only make matters worse now that the cliff edge had been reached and she was compelled to instruct her minions to leap into the yawning precipice. ‘I wonder if it’s too late to call this whole thing off,’ she pondered, but then remembered last week when that stupid reporter (former Fox News employee James Rosen) asked her if she “hates” Trump.

“I sure let him have it,” she chortled to herself, and a feeling of fulfilment returned for a second or two before her peace was shattered again. Time was up.

Knock, knock, knock. (A few seconds pass. More earnestly.) Pound, pound, pound!

“It’s time, Madame Speaker,” said a determined voice from behind the heavy wooden door. Pelosi arose from her seat feeling like a condemned felon on her last journey to the cell block, hoping against hope that a bolt of lightning would strike to get her out of this budding catastrophe. ‘Too late,’ she coughed, figuring the dye was cast and karma is a… (female dog).

--Does Pelosi actually regret the way impeachment’s gone, as this make-believe skit would imply? If so, she’s done a pretty good job of hiding it. And fellow liberals are even giving her credit for the tremendous job she’s done as Speaker, despite the impending public relations disaster. Juan Williams wrote earlier this week at The Hill, “[F]or all her prior legislative triumphs — the 2009 economic stimulus and the 2010 Affordable Care Act among them — Pelosi is writing the first line of her historical legacy as I write this column: Her stamp of approval makes it all but certain that the House will impeach Trump.

“Even if the politics of impeachment blow up in the Democrats’ face, there is virtually no chance that her Speakership will be in jeopardy. There is no one in the House Democratic caucus with enough gravitas to seriously challenge her. Pelosi will have the Speakership for as long as she wants. She is the author of her own political destiny.

“By finally standing up to Trump and expertly navigating the process that will most likely result in his impeachment, Pelosi wins the prize for Politician of the Year.”

You’re forgiven if you spit your coffee out upon reading Juan’s words. Granted everyone views people and leaders and figureheads and history differently, but it takes an extreme stretch of logic to conclude that Pelosi deserves praise for allowing this impeachment sham to reach maturity. Nearly everyone with a shred of common sense -- including a good many Democrats -- have suggested impeaching a president based on purely political reasons and distastes is a ticket to disaster. As indicated in our own farcical depiction of Pelosi’s last pre-impeachment moments above, she must’ve regretted the way things transpired.

And it’s a little early to announce a designation of “Politician of the Year,” Juan. There’s still three weeks left in 2019 and plenty of opportunity for Pelosi to further impale herself on the proverbial spike of impossible dreams. Liberals may single out the Bay Area’s most powerful pol for special commendation but it’s highly unlikely anyone outside of the heavily populated liberal coastal enclaves feels the same way as Williams does.

Look who she’s surrounded herself with to prosecute the witch hunt, an eclectic collection of liberal nuts and has-beens who couldn’t win an election outside of an urban ghetto or limousine liberal sanctuary (think Hollywood or New York City).

Democrats substitute raw emotion and feelings for evidence, hard data and facts. Bug-eyed Adam Schiff speaks as though he alone can see what’s wrong here, his own version of reality that others can’t -- or won’t -- grasp. In so doing he’s akin to Linus eternally searching for the sincerest pumpkin patch to await the coming of the Great Pumpkin. Schiff’s is a child-like belief system with no anchor to 2019 planet earth. Whenever he steps to a microphone it’s as though he’s speaking to a room full of mannequins with pre-recorded crowd noise affirming his every word.

For his part, Jerrold Nadler simply comes across as old and very angry and probably solely motivated to avoid the fate of fellow Democrat New York Rep. Joe Crowley, the ten-term liberal congressman who was overwhelmed by leftist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in their district primary a year and a half ago. AOC casts a pretty long shadow for a political neophyte who just turned 30 two months ago, and Nadler certainly didn’t want to get on her bad side.

Williams may think Pelosi is “Politician of the Year” but AOC and her “squad” are calling the shots in Democrat-land now. The socialist inmates took over the asylum and Pelosi was powerless to stop them. So, she joined with them and willingly hopped on the impeachment bandwagon, come hell or high water. Liberal media commentators often argue Trump doesn’t possess the temperament to dignify the office of president, but what do they say about Pelosi and her chief lieutenants?

It’s a hypocrisy and double standard that’s glaringly obvious to the folks in flyover country, the ones conservative bomb-thrower Kurt Schlichter labels the “normals”. It’s always risky to predict the outcome of future elections but it’s hard to see a scenario where this impeachment thing ends well for Democrats. The GOP-controlled senate will do everything in its power to make Pelosi, Schiff, Nadler and the rest of the House malcontents look frivolous. And it won’t be arduous.

Trump will fundraise off impeachment like nothing that’s ever been seen in the annals of political history. Republicans will do something they’re rarely able to manage -- unite. And hell hath no fury like a conservative voter scorned. Or something like that.  

Should impeachment ultimately succeed…well, then, the country will split apart. It may take a while for the political boundaries to dissolve but no Republican or conservative will ever look at a Democrat the same way, knowing the political opposition will stop at nothing to get what they want. It’s an awful high price to pay for trying to get rid of Trump.

If Trump is truly so awful, why wouldn’t Democrats just trust the American people to provide the remedy? Impeachment also affords the brash New Yorker outsider president his best chance to rise above the pettiness that’s infested U.S. politics and look like the bigger person.

Dave Boyer reported at The Washington Times, “Two articles of impeachment introduced Tuesday are hurting the country instead of President Trump, who will have his day in a Senate trial, the White House said.

“’The announcement of two baseless articles of impeachment does not hurt the president, it hurts the American people, who expect their elected officials to work on their behalf to strengthen our nation,’ said White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham. ‘The president will address these false charges in the Senate and expects to be fully exonerated, because he did nothing wrong.’”

Democrats have had their fun up to this point -- namely, virtually uncontested control of the impeachment narrative with the clown princes (Schiff and Nadler) directing the hearings, molding the charges and presenting their side of the story without dispute. The liberal establishment media doesn’t bother asking relevant questions, either.

And the Democrat presidential candidates run wild with their promises of government goodies for all, a global shutdown of fossil fuels, abortion services for every woman at home or abroad and separate bathroom facilities and gender-switch operations for anyone who demands them. Oh yeah, they’ve had a field day bashing Trump, too.

But that’s about to change. When the impeachment matter shifts from the House to the Senate there’s a different set of folks guiding the ship and the American public will hear entirely new arguments regarding the constitutional political process. Like an army that holds its artillery for the final stages of battle, Republicans are gearing up to return fire. And it should be spectacular.

Will Nancy Pelosi regret it ever started?

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