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Michael Bloomberg: Like Penny Loafers At A Rodeo

Bloomberg Statements
If there is one thing the 2016 presidential election should have made clear to establishment Democrats and Republicans, it is that voters value authenticity as much or more than they value a candidate’s positions on the issues.

Trump’s outer borough accent, occasional vulgarity and mangled syntax didn’t turn voters off in the same way that Hillary Clinton’s fake African American dialect and “hot sauce” pandering turned off voters.

Why? Because voters recognized that unlike Hillary Clinton, Trump was being Trump, not some phony creation of a bunch of mercenary handlers. So, when Trump, during his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention, expressed his love and admiration for the hardworking people in the construction industry and building trades it rang true.

In contrast, when Hillary was being authentic, as in her carefully crafted displays of contempt for Donald Trump and his supporters, it was an even bigger turn-off than the fake Hillary Clinton put together by her handlers.

This 2016 election lesson seems to have been entirely lost on former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, and his multitude of highly paid mercenary handlers, as Bloomberg’s recent foray into a New Yorker’s idea of Texas regional dialect demonstrates.

Our friend David Franke, a native Texan, sent around a recent article from Texas Monthly quoting Bloomberg’s remarks at a Harris County Democratic Party event in Houston, where the former New York City Mayor said, “Now if I were from Texas, I might say Donald Trump is scared as a cat at the dog pound.”

The writers at Texas Monthly claimed they were responsible for Bloomberg winning that round of cow patty bingo because whichever one of Bloomberg’s speechwriters googled “Texas sayings” landed on a tongue in cheek article from their archives.

What’s more, polling the Texas Monthly staff revealed that none of them could recall ever having heard that aphorism before. However, being always eager to be of assistance to Yankees who venture between their borders, they came up with a list of 20 Texas-isms of questionable provenance that Bloomberg could break out on the campaign trail.

The writers at Texas Monthly are hardly a bunch of Rightwing ideologues, but their reaction to Bloomberg’s faux Texas twang was something between incredulity and gut-busting hilarity, which you can read through this link.

The entertainment of value of Bloomberg’s phoniness aside, the former New York City Mayor’s real problem is that the authentic Bloomberg would get buried in both the Democratic Party’s primary and the general election, because, judging by what the real Michael Bloomberg says in unscripted moments, he’s an even nastier elitist than Hillary Clinton.

The Business Insider reported that in his 1997 autobiography, Bloomberg wrote that he kept "a girlfriend in every city" during his years on Wall Street in the 1960s and 70s. And he once told a reporter, "I like theater, dining, and chasing women ... Let me put it this way: I am a single, straight billionaire in Manhattan. What do you think? It's a wet dream."

He's also faced scrutiny over remarks attributed to him in a 32-page booklet gifted to him in jest by colleagues in 1990. The booklet, titled ''Portable Bloomberg: The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Bloomberg,'' a booklet of 32 pages of Bloomberg quips, anecdotes, and aphorisms with occasional illustrations – which was prepared as a gift for him by company insiders and dated February 14, 1990. The booklet features a host of misogynistic, racist, and homophobic jokes. One quote attributed to Bloomberg read, "If women wanted to be appreciated for their brains, they'd go to the library instead of to Bloomingdale's."

For a recitation of other obnoxious comments from Bloomberg, and a peep into the culture of his company, here’s a link to a Sept. 17, 2001, article in New York magazine, “Chairman Mike” by Michael Wolff.

About the only quote we could reprint in CHQ that Wolff lifted from The Portable Bloomberg: The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Bloomberg is “If Jesus was a Jew, why does he have a Puerto Rican first name?” The rest of it was too vulgar and sexually charged to appear on these pages.

And, as Michael Katz reported for WRVA radio, Bloomberg has been accused of making inappropriate comments about women and oral sex, as well as allegedly telling one pregnant employee to "kill it," concerning her unborn child.

Then there are Bloomberg’s authentic views on race, as evidenced by his remarks to the Aspen Institute, “Ninety-five percent of your murders — murderers and murder victims — fit one M.O. You can just take the description, Xerox it and pass it out to all the cops,” Bloomberg can be heard saying in the clip.

“They are male minorities, 16 to 25. That’s true in New York. That’s true in virtually every city,” the clip continues. “And that’s where the real crime is. You’ve got to get the guns out of the hands of the people that are getting killed.”

Bloomberg claims that’s not what he really thinks, but POLITICO reported that the clip seems to have originated from Bloomberg’s speech at an Aspen Institute event in February 2015. Later that month, The Aspen Times reported that Bloomberg’s representatives had asked the Aspen Institute not to distribute footage of his appearance, meaning way back in 2015 Bloomberg recognized how controversial those revealing comments would be.

The bottom line is that no matter how hard Michael Bloomberg tries to fake it and subsume his elitism, to Americans West of the Highline he’s always going to be an elitist poser and a fake who sticks out like penny loafers at a rodeo.

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