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Assault on America, Day 685: All Americans will pay his debts if Joe Biden becomes president

It's collection time for all those who have something on Joe Biden

“You owe me.”

How many times have we heard someone remind us that there’s a debt at hand? Sometimes it’s in real dollars and cents, other times it’s a favor or ethical duty and still other obligations are redeployed for blackmail purposes. Can you keep a secret? Taking on the burden of squelching it is usually dicier and more problematic than receiving the intelligence itself.

Conservatives know there will be plenty of such admonitions for Joe Biden, should President Donald Trump’s legal challenges in several states ultimately fail to propel him over the top of the electoral vote count and the 47-year swamp dweller Democrat is declared the winner in this year’s presidential race. The list of claimants to favors and otherwise in Biden’s orbit is long and they would appear to not be the least bit shy about demanding he pay up. Make a deal with the devil, as Grampa Joe has repeatedly done throughout his life, and sooner or later there’ll come a knock at the door.

One such (literal) devil is Hillary Clinton. The 2016 party nominee and three-decade-plus Democrat force is reportedly being considered for a prominent role in Grampa Joe’s posse of political cutthroats. Seth McLaughlin reported at The Washington Times, “Presumptive President-elect Joseph R. Biden is considering appointing former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton as ambassador to the United Nations, according to The Washington Post.

“The Post reported that Mrs. Clinton, who lost to President Trump in the 2016 election, is ‘being discussed privately’ for the post at the United Nations.

“Mrs. Clinton backed Mr. Biden in the general election race but kept a low-profile.”

Let’s get this straight. The 2020 campaign went on for months and Americans heard suspiciously little from the Democrats’ 2016 nominee. What, was Hillary afraid of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP, or Wuhan, if you prefer) virus, or did Democrats enforce an unwritten gag order on the woman? For a campaign that heavily relied on surrogates (because decrepit Joe was self-quarantining due to necessity), why didn’t they wheel the former first lady and Obama secretary of state out of mothballs and get her to resurrect the “With Her” agenda?

It’s arguable there are only two power couples left in American politics. One is definitely the Obamas. These days, both Barack and Michelle are prominently featured in everything the Democrat party does, largely because they’re the only ones with a “brand” that’s worth anything anymore. Whenever Democrats need someone to gin up race-based hysteria for a party hopeful, they crawl like snails on hot pavement to the base of the Obamas’ throne chairs.

The other power duo is the Clintons. In between his never-ending assembly line of sex scandals, big bubba Bill represents a throwback to better times for Democrats, when the Arkansas good ol’ boy could lie and finagle and bite his lip and say “I feel your pain” and flash his famous smile surreptitiously hidden underneath his bulbous Santa Claus nose. Bill is/was an old-style Democrat, one who is basically as liberal as Bernie Sanders but didn’t get wrapped up in the public’s common belief that all party members desire to put their enemies in reeducation camps.

Wife Hillary is part of the Clinton legend, but not nearly as fondly recalled as Bill. Whereas Bill could ride on Jeffrey Epstein’s “Lolita Express” and receive neck massages by underaged girls and no Democrats would bat an eyelash, Hillary’s rotten personality and penchant for dirty looks and throwing things follows her everywhere. Nevertheless, no Democrat can go anywhere or do anything without first checking with the Clinton clan.

For what it’s worth, Republicans don’t have a living power couple any longer. Some might have considered the Reagans such a pair and maybe even George Bush senior and wife Barbara, but they were the last of their kind. No one pays any attention to George W. Bush and wife Laura, for example, and the Trumps, though certainly a power family, aren’t a good fit for the designation. Melania Trump is indeed a household name, though she’s not nearly as political as the husband-wife combinations of the Obamas and Clintons.

So therefore, Biden owes a debt to the Clintons. What better way to satiate the couple, rehabilitate their hideous reputation and give Hillary a high-profile but largely ceremonial post than to plunk her at the U.N.? After four years of Donald Trump’s “America First” agenda, most Americas would just assume ditching the expensive but worthless international body. Crooked Hill can go in there, say a lot of bad things about Trump, apologize to the Chinese and Iranians and kiss a lot of NATO butts. She’ll work behind the scenes to weaken every good thing Trump’s done for Israel, and the appeaser balance will be restored in the world.

Bill can drop in from time to time to shake hands (post CCP virus, of course), solicit more donations for the Clinton foundation and ride around in a limousine with the Russian delegation.

Grampa Joe owes a lot more Democrats than the Clintons ever did. Where to start?

Ah, the private conversations taking place behind the scenes. Maybe they sound a little like this:

“Hey Joe, it’s Barack,” the former president said cheerfully as he heard his old buddy’s weak and frightened sounding voice come through the intercom. “Me and Michelle were just talking over tea and croissants at our place in Martha’s Vineyard that you owe us just about everything and we’re wondering what you’re gonna do to make us whole.”

Joe Biden was coming off a long night of tossing and turning about that devil Trump’s continued refusal to pick up the phone, call him, and give up the electoral ghost. The Republican keeps hinting that he has plenty of evidence to back up his court cases and swears he’s going to end up with 270 Electoral Votes when it’s all said and done. Even if it’s probably just the usual Trump braggadocio, the unknown scares the soon-to-be 78-year-old to death. Now Obama was calling, collecting on old favors and expecting something for… nothing? It was irritating.

You’ll get nothing and like it,” Joe screamed back, a satisfied look of pleasure crossing his wrinkled brow. “I won that election because I said I would restore the soul of the nation. Trump didn’t completely ruin the country in four years alone, Barry, and I’m basically going to have to go in and clean up the mess that you started. You’ll be dead lucky if I can save what’s left of your legislative record. Obamacare’s about to be leveled by the Supreme Court and the awful shape you left the party has the whole country in shambles.”

Dumbfounded that Biden would dare talk back to him, Obama retorted, “Listen man, I saved your rear end from political obscurity in 2008, then looked the other way while you stumbled around like a drunk on a street corner after the bar’s last call. I know you don’t drink, but you’re acting like you’re smashed, jacka-s. Get with it, bud. I’ll call you back in a couple days -- better get it straight.”

Joe heard a click on the phone that sounded like an AR-15 burst in the middle of the night in a quiet residential neighborhood. The force of the noise startled him. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have accepted all the help from those people’, he thought. Right then the phone buzzed again.

“Mr. President-elect, I’ve been waiting for this day.” Joe thought he recognized the voice, but asked for a confirmation as to the identity of the caller. “It’s your old pal Chris Dodd, dummy. You mean we served in the senate for twenty-eight years together and you don’t know me? Or are you just pretending?”

“Of course, Chris,” Joe said embarrassed. “I was just having a senior moment. What can I do for you, bosom old chum?”

“Well Joe,” Dodd continued, a little edgy. “I’m not president of the Motion Picture Association anymore, and I did give up a lot of my free time to head your VP vetting search earlier this year. I was the one who wanted you to pick Kamala Harris, the black gal who got all those mail-in votes from minority communities. If you had your way, you would’ve picked Liz Warren. What a disaster. You owe me, pal.”

Dodd’s words trailed off as Biden wondered to himself what the former Connecticut senator was possibly after. “You know what I want, old comrade. I wanna be ambassador to Ireland. They’ve got keg after keg after keg of Guinness over there, ya know. I don’t drink as much as I did in my 'waitress sandwich' days with Teddy Kennedy, but it’s still an important consideration in my life. I also love those singing Irish babes in ‘Celtic Woman’. They do a terrific rendition of Amazing Grace. Both of us could use a little forgiveness for all we’ve done. What do you think? Can I pack my bags for Dublin?”

“Heck yeah, Chris, consider it done.” Biden breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that Dodd only inquired about something so trivial. What if he’d asked to head a new task force investigating past claims of sexual harassment? Or he’d suggested chairing a group whose mission it is to attack any and all establishment people like me? We need that swamp, dang it.

Buuuzzzz. Buuuzzzz. Buuuzzzz. What now, Biden thought.

“Joe, it’s Liz Warren. I know you’re going over your list of cabinet appointments and I just wanted to put in my two cents before you pay off all the people you owe. There isn’t anyone in our party who deserves it more than I do. I stayed in the primary race long enough to siphon off votes from Bernie, and now it’s time to compensate the piper. Or should I say, pay off the angry, vindictive squaw. I’ve got all my people over here and we’re about to do a war dance if you don’t make me treasury secretary. I’ve never been much of a believer in voodoo, but I’ve got a couple Biden dolls here in my teepee. Better get off your haunches and send up a smoke signal to the media right away.

There was a long pause while Biden searched for words. “One more thing, we want Bernie for Labor Sec-Click! Oops, Biden chuckled. I cut her off before she could tell me to appoint Bernie Sanders for Labor Secretary. That old fool would unionize the White House staff. What would I do then?

“It’s tough owing everything to everyone. I just want to be president. Can’t they just go away?”

Biden hit the button to summons his assistant. “Hold my calls for the rest of the day, will ya? Too many people begging me for stuff. I’m calling a media blackout for the rest of the week, too. I don’t care if it’s Kamala on the line, I’m going to go for a skinny dip in the outdoor pool and get together with Hunter for lunch. We have a lot of business to discuss. I’m glad I don’t owe anyone where he’s concerned. He already paid ‘em off.”

If Trump must leave office, he’ll go out in a blaze of glory (executive orders)

He won’t necessarily be paying off old debts, but Joe Biden plans to try and undo a lot of the good things President Trump accomplished through executive orders in his first White House term. In doing so, Biden will be fulfilling his role as chief executor of the leftist agenda. In essence, a dictator.

Dave Boyer, Bill Gertz and Gabriella Muñoz reported at The Washington Times, “President Trump signed an order on Thursday barring U.S. investments in Chinese companies owned or controlled by China‘s military, as he tees up a series of executive actions on school choice, immigration and other conservative priorities before Jan. 20 that would force presumptive President-elect Joseph R. Biden to work to reverse next year…

“At the same time, Mr. Biden is planning to rescind a slew of Mr. Trump‘s executive orders starting on Day One of his administration.

“The Democrat aims to issue executive actions to end the president’s restrictions on federal funding of Planned Parenthood, reinstate the U.S. in the Paris climate accord and stop the withdrawal from the World Health Organization, revive the Obama-era Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program and repeal Mr. Trump‘s travel ban on mostly Muslim countries.”

It’s a good reminder to those Republicans who were soothed by the fact Biden and his merry band of socialist politicians won’t be able to do a lot of damage legislatively next year. The two Georgia U.S. senate seats are incredibly important if conservatives are to stave off disaster by dictate (Medicare for All, Green New Deal, etc.). But a whole host of bad things are still in order with doddering Joe wielding his executive pen.

Joe Biden owes an awful lot of people a lot of things, and he’s going to be busy paying them off -- literally and figuratively. In addition to the obvious sources, there are the “secrets” that will crop up from the corrupted 78-year-old’s past. Biden was able to hide from serious questions during the campaign, making it all about Trump. In January, he won’t be so lucky.

  • 2020 Election

  • Mike Pence

  • Kamala Harris

  • Donald Trump

  • Joe Biden

  • COVID-19

  • media

  • polls

  • Trump parades

  • rallies

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