Many of us are still recovering from the Halloween season. It’s safe to say there aren’t many occasions that unite Americans anymore, but “fun” holidays like Halloween might be one of them.
Sure, in recent times there have been numerous reports of certain costumes being banned for their lack of adherence to the mind-controlled politically correct thought police of any particular year, but in general, most people don’t make a big deal out of kids (and some adults) dressing up once per annum to attend theme parties or head to an amusement park fun house, or go door-to-door to beg for candy or other treats.
By the way, what exactly would constitute a “trick”?
Certain religious denominations don’t care for Halloween’s supposed connection to the underworld or donning costumes mimicking devils, ghosts, goblins, witches and zombies, either, but even the closest adherents to belief systems make an exception one night a year. In other words, Halloween isn’t and wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously.
Unfortunately for America, dressing up as something you’re not seems to be a tradition Democrats honor every day in Congress, the White House and various political entities across the country. They pretend to be for “inclusion” and “tolerance” and “free speech” and fiscal sanity and “climate justice” (whatever the heck that is), “cash for kids” and a whole host of other benevolent-sounding causes, when really their smiling faces and well-dressed presentations obscure more sinister aims, like transforming the country into a “woke” dystopia based on race, gender, class, political favoritism and wealth redistribution.
As witnessed this entire year, Democrat policies are driving the country into the ground and making people resentful, angry and envious of their fellow citizens. Is this what “unity” looks like?
Democrats’ sham “Build Back Better” program is a perfect example of what they’re really after. It's a poorly cloaked drive to replace good ol’ fashioned capitalism and individual liberty with leftist notions of “equity” “anti-racism” and goodies for Democrat constituencies.
“Our nation has fallen behind, but our shared American spirit means we cannot give up. And while few of our colleagues across the aisle have shown a willingness to work together, I believe we can move past this proverbial chicken-or-egg moment, join together to find common ground and make meaningful progress right now—even if it's not all of the progress we need to make.
“The truth of the matter is, those of us on Main Street are desperate for transformation, the kind of investment we haven't seen since World War II. That's the kind of legislative investment these bills would deliver.
“So when members of our Congress threaten to take down both packages if a demand isn't met, we're not living up to our commitment to these hardworking families. And what we risk just isn't worth it. Our only option is to come together and compromise.”
Huh? By “come together and compromise” Bustos refers only to the Democrats in her caucus, not an overture to traipse across the aisle and hold up her hand to receive a high-five from a Republican -- unless it’s Liz Cheney. Just like at Halloween, Democrats profess to be something they’re not -- reasonable people who listen to all sides and push legislation that’s proposed in the spirit of the Constitution and governmental restraint.
Simply put, after months of haggling over details of the spending boondoggle, Democrats care only about political appearances -- nothing else. If they don’t provide slush for the suckers who voted for Biden a year ago, it’ll make him look more emaciated and powerless than he already does, if that’s even possible. And it will make Democrats appear as though they can’t “govern” if they fail to raise taxes and allocate more borrowed money to combat some trumped up problem or issue.
Just like with Halloween, Democrats are all about what you look like on the surface. What lies beneath their costumes is a self-interested swamp loser preoccupied with holding and wielding power. With inflation going through the roof, America needs the government to dump trillions of unsupported dollars into the economy like a zombie needs another brain to consume.
Joe Biden couldn’t care less whether the reconciliation “social infrastructure” bill was $3.5 trillion or half that -- as long as it passes. Neither does Bustos and a small segment of “moderates” in the Democrat Congress. As for the rest of ‘em? They want more, more, more. It’s all a mirage, a ploy to make America into a socialist welfare blip indistinguishable from the failed states of Europe.
I’m guessing Joe Biden didn’t dress up for Halloween at his big party this year. But in the spirit of pulling out all the stops to get his bill passed, he might’ve invited Democrats over to the White House for a little trick or treat fun on the taxpayers’ dime. Here’s what it probably looked like:
--“Joe, you’d better get ready and go downstairs, your guests are almost here,” said a staff member’s voice to the president over the intercom in the White House family quarters.
“Guests? What the heck for? It’s Sunday, isn’t it? I don’t even need to put out a memo closing up the media shop early on this day. People should know that I save Sunday evenings for story time with Hunter where he always brings these cool dudes with foreign accents over to call me ‘the big guy’ and write us huge checks with lots of zeroes. But lately all they’ve wanted to talk about was m’ boy’s awesome paintings.
His voice lowered to a whisper, Joe moved towards and spoke into the wall unit, “Just between you and me, Hunter’s drawings look like a nauseated dog puked regurgitated Skittles onto a canvas, but I always lie to ‘im and tell him the pictures are great, just like every doting dad should say to his little boy.”
Biden heard poorly muffled laughter at the other end of the com but couldn’t figure out why. “Um, sir, it’s Halloween, and you invited a bunch of your homies over for a dress-up and trick or treat at the front door. You can go as yourself, but everyone else needs to be creative.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hopefully they won’t stay long,” the old grouch replied grumpily.
Hurrying down to the front entrance, senile Joe arrived just as the doorbell rang. Leaning against the barrier, Joe instinctively requested “Who is it?”, never knowing if it was just another Chinese Communist Party lobbyist extorting money for virus gain of function research or The Big O dropping by to complain -- again -- about the tasteless new décor installed by the house’s current resident.
Not receiving an identifier, Joe cracked open the door to spot what looked to be a short, scrawny guy in a donkey costume. ‘Is this a kid?’ Joe wondered to himself, a puzzled expression crossing his brow. ‘If so, I don’t have any real candy to give him.’
“Trick or Treat! It’s me, Joe, Adam Schiff! Don’t you recognize me?”
Biden paused for a moment, squinting his eyes to get a better appreciation, then replied, “Oh sure, Adam. You’re wearing a donkey costume as a tribute to our party. You’ve done a lot of great work with impeachment and now the 1/6 Commission and all that conspiracy crap. Trump escaped all of that nonsense, but you were terrific on TV. By the way, what’s the deal with your bug eyes? Is that part of your act or what?”
“Donkey? Donkey? I’m a jackass, you dummy!” the West Hollywood Democrat bellowed, outwardly perturbed at not being properly acknowledged. “I didn’t think I needed to dress-up for people to see it, but it’s Halloween, right? Do you have a treat for me, like a Justice Department indictment of Trump or something? You gotta toss me a bone, bro, and I don’t mean one from an Afghan interpreter tortured and killed by the Taliban after you abandoned him. Whaddoyou say, bud?”
“Come on in, Schiff-ty. We’re all gathering in the back room for a weenie roast in the fireplace.”
Diiinnngggg-Dooonnnggg. Not bothering to ask who it was this time, Joe threw open the big oak door to see the figure of a witch, complete with broom and pointed black hat and a mask face so repulsive he felt as though his eyes were melting. If this was a store-bought get-up, it sure looked authentic and well-worn, almost natural on the woman. ‘Wow, this is a great costume, I can’t even guess who it might be,’ he pondered.
Feeling stumped, Joe tried, “Liz Cheney, how nice of you to accept my invitation. Great outfit! I thought for sure you were Ayanna Pressley or Maxine Waters or Amy Klobuchar or Liz Warren… or maybe Dr. Jill in a bad mood after one of my public appearances. There are just so many witchy possibilities to choose from! A wayward Republican is always welcome in my house! Make yourself at home, chick-y!”
Hauling off her cover, Nancy Pelosi barked at the doddering dolt, “Not funny, Joe. The least you could do is give me my due. This is my second to last Halloween Party as Speaker of the House, and I want it to mean something. I’ve lied and scratched and applied severe corporal punishment on enough butts to last a lifetime since you’ve been president. I’ve tried to make it so every illegal alien could have citizenship and reparations and those voter bills? It’d guarantee a permanent majority for Democrats, even if no one wants to vote for us anymore because of you. My legacy. And now I’m getting after my caucus like a famished fat kid chasing greased pigs at a hick county fair to pass your stupid agenda for you.
“I’m a freakin’ witch, [censored -- opposite of God bless it]. Treat me with respect!”
Biden was dumbfounded as Pelosi then mounted her broom and appeared to take off flying through an opened window to the rear of the house, shrill laughter fading as she slowly disappeared from sight.
‘Sheesh, that’s a great trick. Don’t mess with that broad, man. She sure means what she says!’
Diiinnngggg-Dooonnnggg. “Trick or Treat!” shouted the young, shapely and obviously biological female in a long white, conforming dress that read “Tax the Rich” on the backside. “Hey, Joe! I wouldn’t miss your party for anything, except for maybe another international climate change agreement from your trip to Scotland this week. We’re gonna make sure nobody has a dime left after we’re done with them, aren’t we? But you better leave the wealthy with something, or they won’t be able to go to $30,000 a plate fundraisers for us anymore!” the woman said as she blew the old geezer a kiss and nestled close to his chest for a hug.
“AOC, how great to see you”, Joe returned the gesture. “At first, since you’re Hispanic, I thought you might be here to join the cleaning staff. I never say anything racial or offensive, remember? But it’s a Halloween treat to see you decked out like that. Come in! Come in! And I’ll make sure to hobnob with the Europeans to throw together a zero-carbon treaty, just because you told me to do it! Keep those home furnaces burning full blast this winter, kiddo!”
Biden didn’t even need to shut the door before the next guest straggled in. Instead of donning a clever mask like most of the others had done, this short human being with high heels sported a clown’s face with heavy makeup and a baggy outfit masking “its” gender. “It” had a phony and contrived permanent smile affixed to his or her blood red lips.
“Oh, I can’t stand it any longer!” giggled the person, giving away her gender and identity at the same instant. “It’s me, Kamala! I was gonna dress up as your border czar, but I had no idea what that would look like since I haven’t been down there in like a zillion years, Joe. But at least I went once, unlike you! What are you serving at this shindig? Are we bobbing for apples later? How about bobbing for million-dollar treasury notes tucked inside clear plastic ice cream containers instead?
Seeing no reaction from the humor challenged dunce, Kamala went on, “My idea of ‘Build Back (More) Better’ is acting like a clown every day! Things in the country are so awful now, we could all use some laughter and levity. Send in the Clowns. There ought to be clowns!”
As he watched his veep lightheartedly dance to the rear of the mansion, senile Joe sighed and mumbled to himself, “I’ve had enough Halloween. I wanna go to bed.” He approached a Secret Service agent how many more hadn’t yet arrived, and was told, “Three-in-one, Mr. President.”
Diiinnngggg-Dooonnnggg. Opening the door for what he hoped would be the final time, Joe spotted a three-headed beast wearing a green and yellow jumpsuit with six legs, reminiscent of Gumby in the silly animated cartoons from all those decades ago. Looking closely, Biden detected Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton on either side of the triclops while Terry McAuliffe occupied the middle hole.
“Hey Joe!” The trio shouted in unison. “Happy Halloween! We’re dressed up as the ‘Fibbing Fiend’ -- get it?! All of us are taking turns attempting to tell bigger and bigger whoppers than the last person did. We’re great at it -- comes through lots of practice -- but we thought we’d drop in to see if you can best us all!
“This costume is getting a little uncomfortable, though,” Barack chimed in, unhappily. “Hillary’s so demanding and Terry’s just flat-out stupid, so it's not a good fit!! But at least this is more fun than my birthday bash was a few months back. It’s great to be away from Michelle for an evening. And look, none of us cartoon characters are vaccinated or wearing masks!”
‘Uh oh’. Senile Joe was suddenly alarmed, since he thought he’d discerned Dr. Fauci -- costumed like an undertaker -- lingering near the spiked punch bowl, but couldn’t be certain. ‘Dr. Fuzz-ball wouldn’t like this gathering with no masks’, Joe speculated.
With no one else at the door and no more goodies to hand out -- they’d already been snatched up by ravenous Democrats who’d gotten there earlier -- Joe wandered around for a bit before slowly descending the stairs to his bunker hideaway, the same one he used whenever there were too many Black Lives Matter kooks chanting and protesting in Lafayette Park.
Thus ended another Halloween in Democrat-land.
--Halloween may indeed be something most Americans appreciate in a unified way, but it’s difficult to see Democrats doing anything for anyone other than themselves. It’s true, liberals do love to hand out free treats to people, but only those who’re likely to vote for them. America in 2021 feels like a haunted house without an exit.
Joe Biden economy
Democrat welfare bill
Build Back Better
2021 Virginia elections
2022 midterm elections
Halloween at the White House